Tiny toons
by AlexWhiteTiger
Summary: This is what I think Harry and Hermione thought when they first entered the Wizarding World. No pairings. oneshot unless someone has a request.
1. Tiny Toons

Disclaimer: Do not own any of these characters, someone else was way smarter and more original than me.

**You are definitely going to want the back story to this, it just came to me at work one night. I work at a steak house, and we were having to wait because people had come in right at close. So one of the cooks, a waitress and I were talking about old cartoons.**

**Somehow the waitress started singing this song, I couldn't get it out of my head, went home and listened to it till I got the words right, then this pops up. I couldn't help wondering what Harry's reaction to the wizarding world would be besides amazement.**

**Because, seriously, they are stuck in the dark ages and are very backwards in their thinking. So that must have been an odd change, and BOOM, a plot bunny strikes! **

**The song is **Tiny Toon Adventrues Theme song **if you want to look into it at youtube and listen while reading. I love it! On with the show! This is in November of third year. If the dates are off for the show I'm sorry, it's been a while since I've seen it.**

Harry looked up at Dumbledore with disbelief written on his face. Just like everyone else in the great hall. They were partway through his third year at Hogwarts, and Sirius Black was still on the loose, so Dumbledore decided he would lighten the mood with a school wide project. Even the teachers were gaping at him, everyone thought he'd lost his mind.

_Ten minutes earlier_

Albus Dumbledore surveyed his students, they were all at their tables eating dinner. Gossip was still ongoing about Black's latest attempt on Halloween night, the kids were nervous and scared and he had come up with a plan to lighten the mood. It was perfect in his opinion!

Rising from his seat he caught everyone's attention immediately, they quickly quieted down to hear what the old wizard had to say. Not knowing that their suspicions of insanity were about to be confirmed.

"Students, I have come up with a project that I would like everyone to participate in. As you know this year has been tense, so to lighten the mood, I want you to tell us all about yourself."

Dumbledore stopped to check people's reactions and all he was getting was fish looks, especially from the purebloods and magic raised half-bloods.

"The muggle world does this very often-" here he got outraged cries from the purebloods, mostly Slytherins. "You will pick a song that explains yourself, or how you looked at something important in you life. Then write an explanation for why you picked that song, anonymously we will play it for the entire school and try to guess who is who!"

Complete silence met his proclamation.

_End flashback_

Two minutes later it was still silent, but muggleborn students were talking amongst

Dumbledore interrupted again with one last instruction, "this will be either a one- or two-person project. Now off to bed with you, the deadline is this Friday and we will randomly pick one or two a night till all of them are through."

Students left as soon as possible, some were already planning their projects out loud, and some (Malfoy) were vehemently against this "atrocity" they were forced to endure. Harry found it hilarious, and already had the perfect song in mind, now all he had to do was convince Hermione to agree to go in with him.

**One month later**

They had been going through songs for a little under a month, and no one had been able to guess which songs belonged to who. Harry had only known Deans because they shared a dorm, they (Hermione and him) had been careful to conceal their song choice.

Somehow a Ravenclaw had figured out how to get video to play as well, it had been a lot easier to decide who picked which song after that, cause people put their own pictures in them.

Harry had a sense of déjà vu as Dumbledore rose from his chair to start tonights selections. The first one Harry thought might have been Neville, it was all about plants, but he wasn't sure. After the two or three videos played Dumbledore would ask the students to point to who they thought the videos belonged to, rarely was anybody right.

The second video had puppy's in it, it was definitely from a first year female, no male liked that many fuzzy, cute animals.

Finally it was Harry and Hermione's turn, he couldn't wait till people saw what they had cooked up. Dumbledore looked at the paper, and then read aloud what they had sent in as they explanation.

"When we first came to the Wizarding World we couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of how you act and live, it's still mostly in the dark ages! So we thought this would be an accurate description of what we first saw." Dumbledore nodded to Minerva who started the video. The minute that the mugglborns heard the beginning notes they burst out laughing, quieting as the main characters started singing.

**We're tiny, we're toony, we're all a little looney,  
And in this cartoony, we're invading your TV!  
We're comic dispensers, we crack up all the censors,  
On tiny toon adventures get a dose of comedy!**

So here's Acme Acres, it's a whole wide world apart,  
Our home sweet home, it stands alone, a cartoon work of art!  
The scripts were rejected, expect the unexpected  
On tiny toon adventures it's about to start!

They're furry, they're funny, they're Babs and Buster Bunny,  
Montana Max has money, Elmyra is a pain!  
Here's Hamton and Plucky, Dizzy Devil's yucky,  
Furrball's unlucky, and Gogo is insane!

At Acme Looniversity we earn our toon degree,  
The teaching staff's been getting laughs since 1933!  
We're tiny, we're toony, we're all a little looney,  
It's tiny toon adventures, come and join the fun! And now our song is done!

Complete and uter silence followed, the muggleborns couldn't help it and started busting up laughing again.

Draco Malfoy, forgetting his pureblood decorum, stood up and said, "what in Merlin's name was that! They are making fun of out culture!"

The only thing that followed was laughter.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**Okay, I know , I'm weird. But I just had to write this. It was so funny, and know its out of my head, thank goodness! Please review, and if you have any suggestions please tell me!**


	2. Animaniacs

Animaniacs

**Disclaimer: I own none of these characters or mentioned songs.**

**I was issued a challenge to do this one so it will no longer be limited to cartoon theme songs. ****Am now taking requests. ****Now on with the show!**

Fred looked over at his twin brother George and the two sighed in unison. Normally they had wonderful ideas for pranks or projects, but Dumbledore's school wide assignment had them stumped, they just didn't have a song that fit them. At that moment they were in an old hidden classroom that doubled as their base of operations. No teacher had ever been able to locate it so they had decided it was the perfect hiding spot.

"What about that new song by The Cauldrons?" George asked, but he was just throwing out a suggestion. He knew all too well what his brother thought about the song because he was thinking the exact same thing.

"Nah, it's too boring." Fred said, "we need something exciting and new that no one's ever heard of, something that fits twins not just two people that happen to look and sound exactly alike."

George laid his head down on the table. After moving and transfiguring chairs and desks they had a gigantic work table and comfortable stools and couches. Suddenly his head shot up with a maniacal grin on his face.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking brother?"

Fred saw the grin and with little difficulty worked out what had his brother smiling so much. "Yes I do believe I am dear brother. Now all we have to do is find the sneaky little jokester and his accomplice."

Both got up from their chairs as George said that they both had a free hour for two more hours and were likely to be in the commons room. Turns out that they weren't there which made the twins go searching in the library before finding both Harry and Hermione with their noses in a book.

The twins got down on their knees and beseeched the two with pleading faces. "We ask for your help oh wise one's! We want to learn from you and where you got that wonderful material!" They were careful to keep their voices down so as no one could eaves drop on them.

Harry looked at Hermione and both adopted a smirk on their faces, they knew the perfect song for the twins.

**Two Weeks Later**

"Well students we are almost to the end of our list of videos, anyone waiting till the last minute had better hurry up. As promised we will announce the authors of each video at the end of the project." Dumbledore was standing behind the head table, about to announce that nights videos.

"Now for our first selection of the night. 'We absolutely loved this song and how it fit out family, maybe you'll figure it out and maybe you won't.'" As Dumbledore stopped reading the candles all blew out and a video started playing above the teachers heads. The music hadn't started but the pictures were just a bunch of random students.

Once the music had started the muggleborns and halfbloods started banging their heads on their tables knowing all too well what the song was. The purebloods looked on in horror, the last time they acted like this was the incident dubbed 'toon'. They dreaded to see what was about to play, and oh how right they were.

**It's time for An-i-man-i-acs  
And we're zany to the max  
So just sit back and relax  
You'll laugh till you collapse  
We're An-i-man-i-acs**

Come join the Warner brothers  
And the Warner sister Dot  
Just for fun we run around the Warner movie lot  
They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught  
But we break loose...  
And then vamoose...  
And now you know the plot

We're An-i-man-i-acs  
Dot is cute and Yakko yaks  
Wakko packs away the snacks  
While Bill Clinton plays the sax  
We're An-i-man-i-acs

Meet Pinky and the brain  
Who want to rule the universe  
Goodfeathers flock together,  
Slappy wacks 'em with her purse  
Buttons chases Mindy  
While Rita sings a verse  
The writers flipped  
We have no script  
Why bother to rehearse

We're An-i-man-i-acs  
We have play for play contracts  
We're zany to the max  
There's baloney in our slacks  
We're An-i-man-ee  
Totally and zany  
Here's the shows namey  
An-i-man-i-acs  
Those are the facts!

Most of the students gave up trying to figure out who chose it and just laughed until their sides split. Dumbledore looked on with a smile as most of the Slytherines got up and walked out in stony silence. If you looked real hard most of the younger years 3rd year and below were trying not to laugh and their shoulders were shaking in tight self control.

'Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.' Dumbledore thought.

**Okay, there ya go. Remember I am taking requests but I don't know when it would be able to be written.**

**REVIEW PLEASE!**


	3. Pinky and the Brain

**Disclaimer: Do we have to go over this again? I own nothing!**

**Now that that's out of the way, here is the next installment in what was supposed to be a oneshot but now I have gotten so many ideas and I would like to thank everyone for their input!**

**This is about Draco and Blaise, I know he isn't covered at all in the books but I had to have someone that would get along with Draco and he was the only one I thought of. Those of you waiting for the Sirius/Carmen Sandiego it should be the next chapter. Unless some other plot bunny takes over my brain. **

**OK. ENJOY!**

**Pinky and the Brain**

Dumbledore stood from his chair and called everyone's attention. He had waited until the very last night at school to have people claim their videos and he could tell it was getting on everyone's nerves. So while dinner was going tonight he would call out the video and the author(s) would stand up. Unfortunately there had been one last entry so he would have to show that one before they could start with the claiming.

"Students we have had one late entry so I would like to show that one now. This one did not come with an explanation so we can only assume the video explains itself." Dumbledore nodded to McGonagall as the candles blew out.

The first thing anyone saw was a picture of Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini in the library. Both of them had their heads bent over their textbooks.

Draco stood and yelled out, "I had no part in this muggle _thing_!" No one believed him and just watched as Blaise repeatedly hit his head on the table. He started hitting his head harder as the muggleborns started laughing again. They knew the song and what it was affiliated with.

Draco could only watch in horror as the song started and even more pictures of him and Blaise played, timed to the music. The music labeling him something called Pinky and Blaise as The Brain!

**They're Pinky and The Brain  
Yes, Pinky and The Brain  
One is a genius  
The other's insane.  
They're laboratory mice  
Their genes have been spliced  
They're dinky  
They're Pinky and The Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain  
Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain  
Brain.**

Before each night is done  
Their plan will be unfurled  
By the dawning of the sun  
They'll take over the world.

They're Pinky and The Brain  
Yes, Pinky and The Brain  
Their twilight campaign  
Is easy to explain.  
To prove their mousey worth

They'll overthrow the Earth  
They're dinky  
They're Pinky and The Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain  
Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain  
Narf!

Every time the word brain was repeated a very flattering picture of Blaise would appear and when they said Pinky it would be one of Draco falling or tripping.

"Who did that because they are dead!" Draco was looking about to spit fire. But no one heard him because they were all busting a gut laughing. Even some of the older Slytherins were fighting to hold back laughter. Dumbledore could only chuckle because while Draco looked about like his namesake Blaise just took it in stride and had that maniacal planning gleam in his eyes.

Dumbledore stood and, "I believe we will leave that author anonymous so as to save them from a horrendous death from Mr. Malfoy."

Draco, realizing the scene he was making, quickly sat down and started making plans with Blaise for revenge. Plus deciding how they were going to find said author. Over at the Gryffindor table Harry shared a smirk with the twins at how well their prank had gone over. It was nice to get a laugh after the fiasco with his godfather and Wormtail.

**Flashback**

Meeting his source in a little used hallway was an easy thing. Getting him to do the work was even easier. As the boy approached Harry he held out the packet in his hand, he had received payment before even doing the job.

"Are they all in here? Even the embarrassing ones?" Harry asked.

"All of them. It was surprisingly easy to get them." The source answered.

"K. Thanks Collin. And remember, no more pictures of me without my permission."

"I know. I gotta get back to the library. Can't wait to see the finished product." As he walked away Harry couldn't help but cackle at the all the pictures Collin was able to get in just three days, this was going to be so much fun!

**End**

"Now that all the videos are done we can start with the claiming ceremony. When your video is called please stand _up_. The first video is, _Quidditch_."

**Now that's the end of the third year and I will probably skip ahead to 5****th**** for any other chapters I do. Review Please!**


	4. Carmen Sandiego

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of these stories.**

**And here is the Carmen Sandiego/Sirius story. This will be partway through fifth year, probably about October or November. Enjoy!**

If you had just walked into the Great Hall of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry all you would hear would be the '**bang, bang, bang**,' of teenagers heads on the wooden tables. All students from Slytherin to Gryffindor, 3rd year to 7th, were going to have major bruises by the next morning and the younger years could only watch in fear at their upperclassmen's reactions.

"Students, there is no need for all that because this year the video entries will be different. The participants will be able to enter numerous videos and they can be about any subject." While the banging had stopped during Dumbledore's speech it started up soon afterwards. Dumbledore could only look on with a twinkling eye as the students filed out, the 1st and 2nd years asking the older students what all the excitement(and dreading) was about.

Ron looked to his side to see his best friends looking like the cat that caught the canary(A/N: is that the saying?). "What are you two coming up with this time?" Even after third year he couldn't help but smile at his friend's antics.

The two shared a look and then Harry said, "you'll just have to wait and see, but it won't hurt you in anyway."

Ron breathed out a sigh of relief and nodded, "can you tell me who you're focusing on this time?"

"We'll do you one better," Hermione said, "you can help with the one's this year. Maybe we can come up with more that way."

Ron pouted and just as they reached the fat lady he said, "you still haven't told me who the first one is about."

"First I have to get him to agree to it and then I'll tell you both." Harry stated with a mischievous look on his face. Ron and Hermione could only groan because that look was never a good sign of things to come.

**One Week Later**

"Now we will have the first videos, I'm so happy that some of you got to work straight away." The teachers at the head table could tell that this year was going to be the strangest one yet. Dolores Umbridge(A/N: no I didn't forget about her) had tried her best to get this 'tradition' banned but Dumbledore had been adamant that it would help with house unity.

The first video was the Do-Re-Mi song from _The Sound of Music_, it was a pretty good copy for being as old as it was. (A/N: I can't remember when the sound of music came out so just imagine it's been out for a long time.) The second was about some type of Irish dance with the traditional music to go with it.

Finally the third one and last one came up. There were no introductions this year so the first picture had to convey what the video was about. The first picture to be shown was one of the Marauder's first pranks, a massive one that turned everyone in the Great Hall into circus clowns. Every teacher who had taught during the Marauder's time almost repeated the head banging reaction.

Severus Snape had turned his infamous glare in the direction of where he knew Potter was sitting. If there were any photos of him in this video then the boy would wish he had never survived that night long ago. Even though there were photos of 'snivellus', as Sirius had put it, Harry had adamantly refused to use any of them. There was a thin line between funny and painful with videos like these.

The students in the Great Hall were confused about what they were seeing and as the music started it just got more confusing. Though they did start to laugh as the pranks went along in the shape of the countries the song named.

**Well, she sneaks around the world from Kiev to Carolina,  
She's a sticky-fingered filcher from Berlin down to Belize.  
She'll take you for a ride on a slow boat to China. Tell me  
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?**

Steal their Seoul in South Korea, Make Antarctica cry "Uncle," from the  
Red Sea to Greenland, they'll be singing the blues.  
Well they never Arkansas her steal the Mekong from the jungle. Tell me  
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

She goes from Nashville to Norway, Bonaire to Zimbabwe,  
Chicago, to Czech and Slovakia* and back!

Well, she'll ransack Pakistan, and run a scam in Scandinavia,  
Then she'll stick 'em up down under and go pick-pocket Perth.  
She put the "Miss" in misdemeanor when she stole the beans from Lima. Tell me  
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

She go from Botswana to Thailand, Milan via Amsterdam  
Mali, to Bali, Ohio, Oahu!

Well she glides around the globe, and she'll flim-flam every nation  
She's a double-dealing diva with a taste for thievery.  
Her itinerary's loaded up with moving violations. Tell me  
Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? (x 7)

Watch your back!

As the words 'watch your back' were said a cutout of the Daily Prophet appeared, it was the edition from two years ago with the laughing Sirius Black. Even with everyone knowing Sirius Black was an escaped murderer they still couldn't help the stitches in their side from all the laughing.

When Umbridge stood up to proclaim some announcement or another all that came out of her mouth was '**Croak**' . Slapping a hand over her mouth she ran out a side door with angry croaks following after her. Dumbledore just let the students laugh and only gave a halfhearted attempt to quiet the mass of laughing hyenas.

After Dumbledore got them to calm down he smiled and said, "now that we have had all of those wonderful songs why don't we sing our own. Everyone stand up and I will lead the school song!" All that could be heard was the unison bang of every head in the Great Hall, teachers included.

**OKAY. Glad I got that done. Anymore suggestions because I'm running out and It doesn't have to be limited to cartoon theme songs. Later! Review Please!**


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